Not a ton to share since Saturday buddy but I heard something on Oprah I didn't want to forget. They were showing her "Greatest Hits" and an author said that the most important thing in life is to always let your children know how you feel about them by the look on your face. When your children walk into a room, let them see your face light up. I wish that for you and Joey - I hope that this great big mushie heart that you have created always shows on my face and you see it. I know sometimes, we get frustrated with your antics - especially when we are tired - but I hope you see the joy I feel when I look at you.
We took you to the dr. today for the follow up on your tubes. Your left tube isn't working as there is a blockage so you are on some drops to get it cleared up. We also got some nose spray to help clear up your drainage. I am hoping they both work. I hope that it also explains your lack of sleep and bad sleep habits.
You were so funny last night - I let you have a sunflower nut and you thought you were HOT STUFF. Since I am addicted to sunflower seeds, you think you need them but they are a choking hazard. I figured a nut wouldn't choke you even if it was swallowed whole. So, you now feel like you are a part of the action and were so proud. Then, daddy popped open a diet coke and you left me to rush over there - you are an addict to those 2-3 swallows you get.
You are now into playing Monopoly on the iPad. You don't know what the heck you are doing but you enjoy it. What is amazing to me is how quickly you picked up the fact that you have to shake the dice. I showed it to you yesterday and today, I said "We have to shake it." You picked it up and shook it like a pro. It really shocks me how little time it takes you to learn something new.
I am going to go mushy on you for a second buddy. I don't think that I have done that in awhile. I have taken a lot of time recently to just sit back and watch you. I watch you roam around the house and act like you own the place. I watch you give your puppies hugs. I watch you walk up to your daddy and give him a kiss or run up to me to give me a hug. I watch you learn and explore. As I watch you and I get all mushy in awe that you are my son, it is also a bit bittersweet to think about the changes that are coming up in our lives next month.
I am worried on several levels. I worry about my c-section recovery and how that will impact you. We can still cuddle now and hang out. After my c-section, it will be several weeks before we can do that. Since I have been having problems with Joey, you have definitely switched from a mama's boy to be a daddy's boy. While it breaks my heart every single day, I know it is good for you & your daddy but I also know it is going to be 2 months before I can start to repair that. And, I will be starting to repair that after I introduce you to a new baby who will be living here. I have a feeling you are going to blame me for this disruption in your life.
I sometimes wonder if we are cheating you. You have only had 18 months to be on your own and you aren't grown up but yet we are going to pull the rug out from under you. I know that it is the best thing for our family for Joey to be here and I know that you are going to love him up. Somedays, you will fight with him, somedays you will be best friends and somedays, you will hate all 3 of us :) I just hope you know that the joy you bring to us is what prompted us to want to bring Joey in this world. Each day that we spend with you is such a new adventure and you have changed our lives in so many ways that it was an obvious choice to expand our family. With Joey coming, I can't wait to watch you expand in this new role. You will now be the teacher and role model. You will be showing him how to use the iPad and I can't wait to see you act that way. I just hope it is an easy transition. Finally, I hope that you never feel like we had another baby because we didn't love you enough and that you never feel that we love either of you more or less than the other.
Well, I will leave you with something silly today. You were going crazy tonight over something silly. I told your dad that I fear you will be a serial killer. Then, I politely asked you to please leave your dad & I off the list if that is the case. All we want for you in life is to be happy and maybe that is your path. We just don't want you to #1) Get Caught #2) Make us your first victims :)
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